I've been feeling like my posts have been a collection of whiney rants and complaints...Complaining about my grades, my delay in this process, my unluckiness with getting my extracurrics in gear. I was thinking this afternoon, five years ago (or whenever I was a freshman in highschool) was I as motivated as I am now? No. But the real question is: Where and why did I fall short? As much as I would like to put the last few years of my life on the back-burner and just move forward, I cant help but think "why and how."
Point is, seeing people around me who were once in the same organic chem class as I, who are now in med school doing what they worked hard to achieve makes me jealous dammit. I cant help it! Should anyone blame me? It's like peoples lives are moving forward as planned and my life is in slow motion, barely scraping by, barely my reaching goals. It's not like I havent achieved anything in the past few years. I've done a lot. The question is, what will truly make me happy at the end of the day?
Another thing that I should really think about (which I havent yet - probably because I'm in denial of this fact) is what I should do in the event that I dont get into med school. I have no idea. Go back into publishing? No. By the time I finish this journey, mankind will probably have bought his last book. Maybe I haven't thought about that "what if" because I dont WANT to think about it. Ha....
I'm still waiting on those books that I bought from Amazon. I'm so excited to get them that I forgot what they are even about. No seriously, I did. I think one is a book on basic laboratory procedures and lab values, and the other is about healthcare (?) - I guess it'll be a surprise. There's another book that I want, which I might purchase tonight. Ah, the things that make me happy...
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