Two more days!

..Until I start classes! Time sure does fly. I organized everything I need for the testing accommodations I'll be taking advantage of. I've decided on having a note-taker for Calc and the other classes I'll have double time for exams. I have my notebooks ready to go, my text books all ready, and my lunch box waiting on the kitchen counter.
Okay not so much about the lunch box, but it'd be great if I can use it again...

I had to do a little switching around with my research times. I was going to go in 8-11:30AM Tues/Thurs. Seeing as though 8AM is a little too early, thankfully I can go in on Monday around 2pm and then Thursday 9-11:30am.
One of the girls who is no longer working there was nice enough to give me her parking pass, which will hold me over for the rest of the month. Then it's back to feeding the meter. My paperwork still hasnt gone through yet, so until it does, theres no touching any mice or equipment ;(

I got one of the many dreaded lectures this evening from the good ol' parents. It all started yesterday when I stupidly answered my phone at 2pm when my mom was calling and even "stupidlier" told her that I was on my way to the lab. For someone who wakes up at 5AM with no problem every morning, of course 2pm is really LATE for her. So they went on and on about how I have a bad attitude and that I dont show initiative nor drive, how I dont show that I really want something. First of all, let me refresh that I was the one who hunted down this research opportunity myself. I think that shows freakin initiative. I went in at 2pm because I had things to do in the morning and well, that is around the time that I have been going anyways. But if it's not one thing, its another. That is one of the reasons I hesitated coming back home. There is always drama in one form or another - and to be perfectly honest, with all that is at stake here, I cant afford to cave into the pressure.


To boot, this is why I am not saying anything about my little plan. It'd be shot down in a minute and I'd get 101 reasons why they think I'm not capable of doing it. I switched from bio to English and now I'm back to bio. They've expressed numerous times that they think I'm going to flake once again and go back to English. No, not this time. The punch line here, however, is that it is nearly impossible for me to convince them of this. I'm just going to take the bull by the damn horns and do what I have to do. I truly feel that I've wasted so much time playing it safe, not being as driven as I ought to.



Once classes start, I'm sure my entries will be a little more interesting than the rants and raves i've been pouring into this blog lately. I just cant wait for the momentum to pick up :)

Tomorrow, I have to get my parking decal for my car and get my new ID. I also should ask about the Forgiveness Policy that they have. The idea of this policy is that when (or if, rather) you retake your classes, they can only factor in the newer (and hopefully better) grade into your GPA. That will really help me out seeing as though I'm going to be retaking Calc and Orgo II.

Alright, time for bed...

My legs..

..are getting better. In fact, Im BenGaying them again as I type. I've never had this kind of leg pain before and I hope it goes away soon. I smell like an old man because my thighs reek from all that cream. I gave them a mini massage too so I hope it does the trick. Well, Im actually able to walk down the steps without having to put both feet on one step at the same time.. Progress. It's been pain since Sunday though.

So, I had a moment of reflection and realization on the phone with my friend. I pretty much broke down on her this evening. I was sobbing about how I'm nervous about this upcoming semester and how I wasnt sure that I would do as well as I wanted...Even through all those tears and bubbly snot sobs, I refrained from telling her my med school endeavors. I'm still convinced that I need to keep it under the radar. Thankfully, she is a good listener and let me vent.

Okay, so these are pre-semester jitters, right? I'm scared shitless. You know who is the big demon this time? It's ORGO. I've reviewed a bit for that class, but since I haven't taken Orgo I in 4 years, I have a lot of refreshing to do. Believe me, this blog is going to get a lot more interesting once I start classes. I'm sure i'll have many interesting moments to document....

ouch.

Im back home and I'm in pain. My legs are absolutely killing me, both my vastus medialis are on fire. I think I danced way too much on the first night - between that an all the walking we did, I'm surprised I can still hold my own weight. After I drop my friend off at the airport, I just want to come back here and go to sleep, take a bath, relax - anything that requires minimal movement. I've had quite the long weekend. We had fun though, despite the pain we are both in. :p

I was thinking of going to the lab today, but I'm not sure I can handle it. I really need to rest my legs. This isn't any kind of pain I've had before, it's a constant burning and I cant even sit on the john without holding something to help me lower myself. I feel like an old lady.

Anyways, while we were in Key West, I had horrible signal. I wasnt able to retrieve any emails on my phone, which worried me slightly because I was looking forward to hearing from that lady about the shadowing opportunity. But just to be sure she hadnt forgotten about me, I emailed her before I left and said:

Good morning,

Hope you had a great weekend! I just wanted to follow up in regard to the shadowing opportunity.

Thanks,


To which she replied:
Good Afternoon,

I hope you are doing well. They are asking me to specify shadow dates. Would it be 8/25 - 12/1/09 twice a week? Please advise.
Thank you,


In response to that I confirmed those dates but told her that I didnt know exactly which days and what times yet. I'll get back to her, I just have to check my schedule.


I start school on Monday. I'm petrified. No really, I am. For the past few years, finishing this degree has always been in the back of my mind, med school has always been in the back of my mind, and here I am, days away from the beginning of my journey. This is it. I'm just worried that I wont do as well as I'd like. But not because I'm going to be distracted with other things (clubs, sorority life - again, partying, beach etc...) I'm over that. I'm worried that I'm simply not capable of getting that A in orgo or at least passing calc this time. I mean, doesnt everyone have an academic threshold? I'm being negative. I'll stop.

Oh, before I went on vacation, I had my MCAT books stacked in my corner bookshelf, not glaring but not completely hidden either. Yes, I'm doing this under the radar but I'm not going to go out of my way to "hide the evidence." Dont ask dont tell. So anyway, my books were in the corner and when my friend came into my room I noticed that she'd eyed them several times but didnt say anything. I know her, she'd never say anything to me about it. I mean it's not like I left them out on purpose to flash them in her face, books are books and are meant to be on bookshelves. I guess it's not really a big deal at this point. For once though I just want someone to know that I have a goal and it feels good share it.



I had a dream last night. It was my first day in med school and the professor went to the whiteboard and wrote the word "perfusion" in large block letters. He then told us that we had 5 minutes to put together a mini oral lecture explaining that word. I remember feeling confident and excited. I went to the board, did my thing, and that was the end of that. Random, huh?
Perfusion though?