Friday!!

The week is over!! My orgo test is finally behind me! The only problem I had during my exam, aside from C-NMR and H-NMR, which still baffles me (and I cant guarantee I'll never see them again), the guy sitting next to me would not stop burping hot dogs. Hands down, aside from eggs, burping hot dogs is the WORST. And I had to sit next to this guy for an hour and 45 min. I was about to stab him in the throat with my pencil. Ok thats a lie.

Well, the last time I felt a huge sense of relief coupled with overwhelming fatigue over finally making it to Friday was then I worked in NYC at that book publishing company. By the end of the week, I was so hollow and worn, it was like I was made up of a thin mesh frame that had synthetic skin stretched over it with eyes that were programed to blink every 2 minutes. Sitting at home, comfortable in my room, I feel human again and now that I'm finally relaxing, I've decided to speed up the process with a lovely glass of riesling. Ahh....

Unfortunately, I wont be able to relax for long. I have to take a shower and head over to this neurology social with the bf. Good thing it's not that far... Im not in the mood to drive too far. I'd love to take a nap before I get ready but lately, I've gotten into the not so good habit of closing my eyes at 4:15, opening them at 4:25 and telling myself "5 more minutessss....", and then the next time I open my eyes, its 6:30. Cant do that anymore.

As much as I'd like to not go anywhere near my books this weekend, I have to keep in mind how important it is for me to stay on top of my subjects. Okay, if anything, I'll skim. I dont want to have to scramble to catch up to anything. Oy, that reminds me... I havent gone to neurosci in a few days :( Fine, well, 2 classes. I have an excuse: I missed them because I went to the library to study for my other tests....... That is legit right?? Gotta make those sacrifices.

Anyways, despite the rain and fatigue, I'm going to go get freshened up any enjoy my evening. Happy Friday :)

Day #4

It's almost over!!! 2 down and 2 more to go! Specifically, Statistics and then Organic Chem.

Dear Statistics,

I feel very comfortable around you and I enjoy the times we spend together. I'm glad we've been off to a good start and I hope it continues that way. Cant wait for our date tomorrow!

With love,
Tori



Dear Organic Chem,

I know we've had some ups and downs in the past, but this time I'm willing to make it work, and I hope you are too. It's been years and after all this time, I think we've learned a lot about each other... we might not be completely compatible but I'm alright with at least being friends if you'd agree to that. Are you excited to see me on Friday? I hope we'll be able to talk without getting into a fight.

See you then,
Tori

Day #1

Yes. This is day #1 of my insane test week. I had my first quiz today, which I scored 100% on.. So proud. Tomorrow I have my cell bio test. Delta G. Delta H. Enthapy, entropy. proteins, enzymes, catalysts... I have mixed feelings toward this exam. i'm not a fan of calculations. I'm really not. At least I read all the chapters. I understand the concepts....We'll See.

I spent 7 hours in the library today. Okay, with two pee breaks and a phone call. I managed to squeeze in cell bio, statistics, physics, and organic chem. I did minimal physics because I"m more concerned about my stat and organic test this week.

I'll come clean here. I'll be perfectly honest. This is the 4th time I'm taking organic chemistry. The fourth.

Pay close attention. I'm going to pass it this time.

There is one guy in my class who apparently was accepted into Johns Hopkins Med School - only one of the best med schools in the country, thank you very much. ... He's in my neurosci class and is a friend of a friend. I really wonder, everyday, what on earth is he doing taking neurosci when he's already accepted into JHM?! Okay, maybe he wants want to brush up on a few things. I can respect that. But his attitude. Oh, his attitude. Holier than thou. It sickens me..... Congratulations you've gotten into JHM and you are surrounded by people who wish they got in, too. Take your acceptance, go buy an ice cream, and watch Adult Swim.

There is another girl in my class who was accepted into Temple University Dental School. I'm happy for her. :) I went to Temple Univ. for half of my undergrad. It's a great school... too bad she's completely petrified of Philly. I loved it there. But I guess its something you have to slowly get used to...Its like moving to NYC from Kansas.

I truly cannot wait until this week is over. I have a neurology resident social that my bf is taking me to on friday, then over the weekend I have Valentines Day to celebrate! It's going to be a busy few days :)

Just a few changes.

So I've decided to make some changes to this blog. I'm going to take out one major thing: complaining. Thats right folks, there will be much less complaining, much less negativity, and much less bitching. I know not every day is going to be a bowl of cherries, but the least I can do is try to not dwell on things that are going to bring me down. I need to stay mentally focused and positive.

On that note, this afternoon, I'm taking the day off from shadowing because of the huge amount of work I have in store for me. Four tests, no time to play.

Oh, for the third time, I visited my professors office for some physics help. I wasnt surprised that he didnt show up, but the good news is that I was able to get help from another professor who shared his office and also taught physics. See? Things worked out well. :)

I received a text message finally from my tutor. Okay so I'll admit, we became friends during the process and I guess things can get wierd when you are friends with your tutor. The formality kind of dissipates but you still have to respect that teacher/student relationship. It's like hanging out with your professor at a club after class on a friday night. Things can get tangled. In my case, I think it did, which is why I havent heard from her in weeks.
I'd even texted her several times....

First time: Hrm.. I guess she's still sick and doesnt want to be bothered....I'll try again later..

Second time: Maybe she is having issues with her phone, or maybe she is back at work and is too tired to talk or text when she gets home. Eh, I dont blame her...

Third time: What if something happened?? .... She hasnt been well, she has no car, iffy financial situation.... gah!!

*I see our mutual friend on campus the next day and find out that she is in fact alive and well....*

Fouth time: Okay, this is bullshit. I'm guessing I must have done something wrong for her to not want to talk to me at this point.. I mean, at least tell me what I did wrong!!

Fifth time: I miss you..

Sixth time: You know, the least you can do is give me the courtesy of telling me what is going on. Thats all I ask. If you dont want to talk to me, fine. Thats your choice, but pl-ease be a human being and reason with me. Then you can go on with your life without me in it if you so choose...

THEN, then I finally get a text from her.

Tutor: Hey. . . . I"m on campus now if you want to talk. . .
Me: (to myself) Are you KIDDING me?! After all that? Do I want to talk on campus? REALLY? Amateur. After the 40 texts I've been sending yes, it is quite obvious that I want to talk. Alas........ (To my text message) .... No, I'm not on campus now.
Tutor:Ok.

- and that was it!
Honest to god, I dont know where I went wrong, but a tiny part of me thinks that I might have had a slip of the tongue.. You know, halfway through happy hour, I fear that I might have told her that I didn't pass organic chemistry after all. I'd told her that I did... :( I know. That was terrible. But I told her that because I didnt want her to think that she didnt do a good job tutoring me. That girl spent so much of her time making sure I understood everything. She's a great tutor. I, apparently, am a shitty learner.

On that note. Time to hit the books.

The rest of the week...

.




....is going to be the week from Hell. I have an exam on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Not cool. I think if I really devote an obscene amount of time to studying, I should do as well as I want to do. Thank goodness Organic is on Friday. Save the hardest for the end, huh?

I'm annoyed about several things though:

1) I cannot find ONE PERSON that can help me with physics. Not one. WTF. My tutor has abandoned me, my professor is never in his office, and no one else in class knows what the heck is going on. I feel like I've expressed this already. I might just be repeating myself. Anyway, I had online homework that was due 20 min ago. I got through a few problems, but I still have about a dozen to go. Each day the problems are left uncompleted, 5% comes off my grade. I'll do all I can to finish it tomorrow. Okay, I cant freak out yet though.... the homework is worth 20% of my physics grade, yes. That can make or break me. BUT, This is only the 3rd chapter out of about 11 that we have homework on. So, If I can come up with a good strategy to complete my homework on time, and correctly for the rest of the semester, it should even things out.

2) I'm finding gaps in my statistics notes. Either it is because I cannot read a thing he writes on the board, or I cant understand the man. The gaps arent really working for me.... I'm having trouble practicing examples with the notes I have.

Okay so I feel like I'm just complaining.... maybe I'm not doing everything I need to do to succeed. Maybe I need to go a farther distance.


On a better note, I got a chance to take a break from studying and watch the superbowl with boyfriend and his friends. I dont think I've eaten so much in a long time. Chicken wings, pizza, pigs in a blankie, little cheese cubes - at least I had veggies too. But overall I feel like a glutton.

Alright, so my agenda for tomorrow is this:

Organic chem class
Cell bio class
Neuro class
Physics class (gag)
Study for an hour
Head over to the hospital to shadow for an hour
Go back to school and study in the library until I start seeing black spots
Go to sleep and do it again on Tuesday.

Wee!