Perhaps I have some degree of bipolarity. No, no I don't. It's just that this mental roller coaster ride that is going to do me in. My mixed feelings about my capabilities in pursuing this. There is no doubt that I WANT to do this more than anything on this planet that makes sense at all, but I'm somewhat doubtful that I will succeed. Truly, I feel defeated and I'm only just beginning. I have to get my esteem together.
I went to the Dean today to ask her what the story was with my GPA when I start up in the fall. It turns out that yes, my GPA will pick up from where I left off. (I'm still not ready to disclose what my GPA is...seeing them typed out on this screen will strike a nerve)... Anyway, I was also told that the more credits I take, the lesser of a margin my GPA will increase. For example, it will be an easier jump from say a 2.5, to a 3.5 if i've only taken up to 120 credits or so... once I get higher than that, the jump is harder. So from a 2.5 to a 2.7 might be all I could do with straight A's. (And no, i dont have a 2.5)
So essentially, 2 semesters of straight A's (in a perfect world) might not be enough to get my GPA where I NEED it to be.
On the upside, I have a great resume, I can get great letters of recommendation, I have my volunteer, I have my shadowing. Ugh, the MCATS.... I still have to bust my ass for that one. Hopefully if I can swing a 31+ it will help out my grades.
*I made an appointment to shadow Dr. "Bascom Palmer" - I came up with a Tues/ Thurs schedule. 9am-11am. I"m going to start next week! EXCITEDDDDD!!!!!!! If I can hopefully get a letter of recommendation from him, then life is golden. GOLDEN. Bascom Palmer is only THEE most renowned eye institute in the world...
P.S. Still on the job hunt.
That is all.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Advisor Meeting
I finally made it over there. I certainly had many questions to ask him being that I'm a non traditional student and all. Here is what I needed answers for:
1) Should I retake Orgo I since it's been almost 4 years since Ive taken it? If not, how much will it effect my performance with Orgo II?
2) Have I satisfied my laboratory requirements?
3) How will my GPA be calculated? Will I start from scratch since I"m pursuing a 2nd degree? Or do I pick up from where I left off? (I hope not.... Then, if I do really well, my cumulative will be much higher. But then again I'll be stuck with the horrid GPA from my earlier days... .)
4) What type of electives should I be taking? They are offering everything from Local Flora to Microbio. Confused.
Other than those main questions, he showed me a powerpoint that he constructed based on a study that was done, well, a study that was done on studying. It was very interesting to see. The bottom line of that was "study early and often."
He asked me, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" It was a serious question on his part (from the stern look he was giving me) but I couldnt help but chuckle. I mean, thats been the story of my life really. It seemed like he was actually saying: "What the hell are you doing here in my office with your wretched transcript thats riddled with F's and DR's??" Of course I didnt tell him my "plan"..... mwuahahahaha..... I couldn't. Part of me wanted to, but that would have been quite an awkward moment.
In regard to the GPA question, and whether or not I will pick up from where I left off, he referred me to a lady in the Deans office who might know better.
I didnt really get a straight answer about the lab requirements but once I register for my classes, I'll be able to access my degree audit and that will tell me everything I need to know.
Here is my proposed class schedule for the fall:
Physics II
Organic Chem II
Calc I (for the FOURTH time!!!)
Gen Microbiology
(and/or) Genetics (lab)
It's a pretty heavy load. But hey, its gotta be done.
I'm actually not in the greatest mood about all this at the moment...I cant stop thinking about how horrible my grades have been. I wish I hadn't fucked around in college. I wish I hadn't dropped so many damn classes. But then was then, this is now right? Is that what I'm supposed to do? Not "dwell in the past?" It's hard because 90% of the time, you cant get away from the fact that your past is what shapes your future. I knew I wanted to come back and finish my pre-reqs at some point so It's not like this is a decision I made on a whim. I knew what I was in for. It's just hard being constantly disappointed in yourself.
I'm not even in the mood to type anymore tonight but I have to squeeze out a few more items for the day. Lets see... Oh, I'm meeting with Dr. Neurology tomorrow about research opportunities. Thing is, I forgot to mention to him that I dont go to the same school in which his Medical School is affiliated. I hope it is not a problem.
I'm still eager to get my hands on my friends old text books. I called her today but to no avail. I'm tired of calling people..
But I NEED those books!! I think I'll feel a lot better about jumping into Orgo II if i am able to take care of some solid reviewing.
Maybe I'll start my own medical school. I'll accept me.
1) Should I retake Orgo I since it's been almost 4 years since Ive taken it? If not, how much will it effect my performance with Orgo II?
2) Have I satisfied my laboratory requirements?
3) How will my GPA be calculated? Will I start from scratch since I"m pursuing a 2nd degree? Or do I pick up from where I left off? (I hope not.... Then, if I do really well, my cumulative will be much higher. But then again I'll be stuck with the horrid GPA from my earlier days... .)
4) What type of electives should I be taking? They are offering everything from Local Flora to Microbio. Confused.
Other than those main questions, he showed me a powerpoint that he constructed based on a study that was done, well, a study that was done on studying. It was very interesting to see. The bottom line of that was "study early and often."
He asked me, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" It was a serious question on his part (from the stern look he was giving me) but I couldnt help but chuckle. I mean, thats been the story of my life really. It seemed like he was actually saying: "What the hell are you doing here in my office with your wretched transcript thats riddled with F's and DR's??" Of course I didnt tell him my "plan"..... mwuahahahaha..... I couldn't. Part of me wanted to, but that would have been quite an awkward moment.
In regard to the GPA question, and whether or not I will pick up from where I left off, he referred me to a lady in the Deans office who might know better.
I didnt really get a straight answer about the lab requirements but once I register for my classes, I'll be able to access my degree audit and that will tell me everything I need to know.
Here is my proposed class schedule for the fall:
Physics II
Organic Chem II
Calc I (for the FOURTH time!!!)
Gen Microbiology
(and/or) Genetics (lab)
It's a pretty heavy load. But hey, its gotta be done.
I'm actually not in the greatest mood about all this at the moment...I cant stop thinking about how horrible my grades have been. I wish I hadn't fucked around in college. I wish I hadn't dropped so many damn classes. But then was then, this is now right? Is that what I'm supposed to do? Not "dwell in the past?" It's hard because 90% of the time, you cant get away from the fact that your past is what shapes your future. I knew I wanted to come back and finish my pre-reqs at some point so It's not like this is a decision I made on a whim. I knew what I was in for. It's just hard being constantly disappointed in yourself.
I'm not even in the mood to type anymore tonight but I have to squeeze out a few more items for the day. Lets see... Oh, I'm meeting with Dr. Neurology tomorrow about research opportunities. Thing is, I forgot to mention to him that I dont go to the same school in which his Medical School is affiliated. I hope it is not a problem.
I'm still eager to get my hands on my friends old text books. I called her today but to no avail. I'm tired of calling people..
But I NEED those books!! I think I'll feel a lot better about jumping into Orgo II if i am able to take care of some solid reviewing.
Maybe I'll start my own medical school. I'll accept me.
Memories...
I had to add this because I was feeling nostalgic. NOBODY but myself knows, or knew, what this painting represented when I painted it, or even to this day. I was at my parents house the other day (they hang my artwork everywhere), and I passed this in the hall. I had to stop and smile. I painted it in 2003 and it is supposed to be a picture of me opening up my med school acceptance letter. Haha.. How crazy is that? An old dream never dies, huh?
Well, while I'm here... I got a little further with my research issue. I'm meeting with Dr. Urology sometime tomorrow afternoon to discuss options. I also should get in touch with Dr. "Bascom Palmer" and schedule a time with him.
Today, I'm meeting with my advisor (not my pre-med advisor, the "regular one") to discuss my class schedule for the fall. I've already taken Orgo I, but that was like three years ago and I'm not sure it is a good idea for me to jump to Orgo II without retaking Orgo I. Then again, I'm anxious and eager to finish this shit up and although its not a race, I dont want to be stuck with a "C" in that class.......... More to come after my appointment.
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